My junior year of college was off to a great start. I had a schedule of classes I was excited about with professors I really enjoyed. I had the opportunity to serve the guys in my dorm as a member of the student life team alongside a group of friends who were quickly becoming “my people.”
Then, one day my dad called and said, “The books you ordered for class were shipped here to the house instead of to campus.” Whoops. “I’ll drive up this evening and bring them to you.” Oh wow! I wasn’t expecting that.
But then when my dad got to my dorm, I realized bringing the books wasn’t the only reason he came. That evening, sitting next to me on the bed in my dorm room, my dad told me that my granddad (my mom’s dad) had died earlier that day.
My heart dropped and a wave of memories filled my thoughts as I quietly mourned the loss of my beloved Granddad.
All of a sudden, I wasn’t worried about the books or how I was going to get my assignments done. Instead, I started writing an email to my professors and packing a bag. Only telling my professors and my boss, I quietly slipped off campus and spent a couple days with family.
Upon returning to campus I was confronted by one of my teammates (who, to this day, I consider to be like a brother):
“Don’t you ever do that again. We are a team. We love you. But how are we supposed to support you if we don’t know what’s going on in your life?”
Whoa.
It was difficult for me to talk about the pain of the loss, so it felt easier to keep it to myself. But Sened helped me see that I was robbing my friends of the opportunity to help me bear that burden.
I can pinpoint that moment as a turning point in my life, when I began to understand the value of pursuing authentic community.
Fast forward to this past Sunday when I, along with many of you, listened to Pastor Kyle teach on this very value in our church.
Pursuing authentic community is telling the people around you when you are going through something hard so they can sit with you in the pain and pray for you.
Pursuing authentic community is being real and open when someone asks, “How are you doing?”
Pursuing authentic community is celebrating the ways God is blessing those around you.
Pursuing authentic community is sacrificing and giving of your own home/time/money/stuff to make sure people know they are important to you.
Pursuing authentic community is embracing humility and asking for help.
Pursuing authentic community is (kindly and gently-yet-firmly) not taking ‘no’ for an answer when you offer to help someone in need.
Pursuing authentic community is eating and laughing together.
Pursuing authentic community takes as many forms as life does, because that’s what pursuing authentic community is all about: gladly sharing your life with others, no matter what life looks like.
Thanks to my gracious-yet-stern friend, I learned the benefit that comes from being real with the people around you. By opening up my life to others, I found a band of brothers with whom to walk through life’s highs and lows.
And now, thanks to my my-life-is-an-open-book wife, I am growing in my desire and ability to be open and real with others. And we are so thankful for the way God has blessed us with authentic community here at Grace.
We have had friends cry with us through the pain of a miscarriage and celebrate with us the birth of two healthy babies. And, in God’s wisdom and by his grace, we have been able to be on the other side—being the shoulders to cry on and the ones to bring ice cream to celebrate.
I’m not saying I have done it all right, or even that I’m good at being real with people. But, what I hope you hear me saying is that I have seen firsthand the blessing that comes from pursuing authentic community. And that is why I believe it is such an important value for our church.
So, Grace, let’s be real with one another. Share your life with others, even when it’s hard. And let’s watch God work as he builds belonging within our church family.
I love you, Grace!
Nathan Ehresman